


Imagine: Castiel seeking you out to ask for your forgiveness.

by webcricket



Series: Castiel Imagines [12]
Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8641657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webcricket/pseuds/webcricket
Summary: Warning: Angst ahead, but also the kind of fluff that is super sticky and sweet and may cause uncontrollable fits of giddiness.





	

Standing in the field, eyes closed, palms open to the sky, icy snowflakes melted into droplets on your face. You inhaled deeply of the crisp autumn air - filled with the scent of wet leaves and, something else, something familiar, someone. “Castiel?” Your voice cracked as you glanced around, finding only the solemn ring of bare trees surrounding the field as company, the cold air silent. Alone, you allowed the disappointment to freely wash over your features, berating yourself for daring to hope. The fresh layer of snow crunched under your feet as you made your way back to the cabin. Stopping at the door, you stomped your boots before ducking inside, the whoosh of fire-warmed air caressing your tingling cheeks.

“Y/N,” Cas stood by the fireplace, arms held awkwardly by his side, “hello.”

Meeting his steady gaze, you exhaled shakily, mouth tensing. Your eyes flitted away, hovering back after a moment to ensure he was actually still there. Turning your back, you shrugged out of your coat and hung it on a hook next to the door. “You were watching me in the meadow,” you said flatly, unwinding your scarf and placing it on the hook beside your coat.

“Yes,” he took a step toward you, hesitating, stepping backward again, “it is good to see you.”

Avoiding the angel, you skirted along the wall toward the kitchen, putting a kettle on the stove to boil, deliberately drawing out your actions. Taking a deep breath, you finally faced him, “Is it Sam and Dean? Are they okay?” You couldn’t fathom him coming to you after all this time under any other circumstances and braced for bad news.

His jaw clenched, hands balling into fists, snapping his neck sharply away, “Sam and Dean are fine.”

“Then why are you here?” You practically growled, anger and frustration boiling over, “I prayed to you every day until I had nothing left to say. Confessed everything to you. What do you want? Why are you here now?”

He flinched at the harshness of your tone, throat bobbing in a hard gulp, unwilling to meet your gaze.

You crossed the room in several long strides, pushing his shoulder roughly, “Why?”

He caught the mantel for balance, closing his eyes, chin dropping, head shaking, “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Your eyes began to burn hot with tears. “Why?” You screamed, now striking his chest with closed fists, sputtering through a sob, “why!”

He grabbed your wrists, blue eyes seeking yours, swirling with sorrow, “Y/N, please, stop.”

You briefly struggled in his grasp, refusing to look at him, stilling yourself as the tears welled over.

He released your arms, immediately pulling you into an embrace, “I know it doesn’t make sense to you, my absence, but I’ve missed you too. And I never stopped listening.”

You buried your face in his coat, wrapping your arms around his broad chest.

He rested his cheek on your head, readjusting his arms to squeeze you tighter, “I made a mistake.” He allowed his fingers to wander through your hair, hands trailing to your shoulders, separating your bodies so he could peer into your face. He cupped his palms around your chin, thumbs gently wiping the tears from your cheeks, “I came to ask your forgiveness.”

You met his gaze, heart seizing at the regret evident in his features. You clasped your hands over his, “Cas, I don’t blame you for my death.”

His lip twitched, eyes reflecting wetly in the low firelight, “No, not your death. Although if I had acted differently, perhaps…”

You pressed a finger to his mouth, quieting him, “Castiel, don’t you dare. My death is not on you. You will not blame yourself.”

He nodded, blinking, a tear rolling along the edge of his nose.

“What am I forgiving you for? Because whatever it is, you have it - I forgive you,” your finger slipped from his lips, lingering at the divot of his chin.

“Y/N, I failed you. I experienced a sensation around you, a feeling I could not name and was too scared to explore. Now that I’ve lost you, I know what it was,” he paused, angling his forehead to touch yours, “I love you.”

You closed your eyes, relishing those three little words, a heavy sigh escaping your lungs, “Cas, you didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

“I know,” he caught your chin, tilting your mouth to his, lips melting tenderly over yours in a gentle kiss.

You carded your fingers through his hair, moving to deepen the kiss, humming curiously when he abruptly leaned away.

He stared back at you, frowning, “Y/N, this cannot be. I cannot stay. I don’t belong here - this is your Heaven.”

You entwined your arms around his neck, not allowing him to further distance himself, a full grin slowly spreading over your face, laughter on your tongue, “Cas, go, outside.”

He squinted at you, blue eyes questioning.

“Go, see,” you let your arms slip, giggling, shoving him playfully toward the door.

You followed close behind as he swung open the door and stepped outside onto a lush green lawn, the scent of blooming flowers in the air. He spun around to face you, a look of wonder on his face, “Y/N, what is this?”

You smiled, “That lonely snowed in cabin wasn’t my Heaven at all, Castiel. This,” you gestured at the beautiful garden, “this is our happily ever after.”


End file.
